


Self-love

by blue_veins



Series: Doubles and Doppelgangers au [2]
Category: Rusty Quill RPF
Genre: Doppleganger AU, Getting high, M/M, Selfcest, Smoking, Yes im going there, a question for the ages, handjobs, is it still handjobs when its yourself or is it masterbating, who better to take orders from than yourself, yes you read that correctly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:28:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27652072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_veins/pseuds/blue_veins
Summary: The Ben's have some alone time, and decide to get high and have a little fun.
Relationships: Ben Meredith/Ben Meredith
Series: Doubles and Doppelgangers au [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2001214
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Self-love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Thesimulacrum](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thesimulacrum/gifts).



> Okay, a few notes. 1. I found this in my docs, and I vaguely remember being beyond exhausted when writing this, which tracks because I don't actually remember writing most of it. I think it fits the Feel of the fic, though I apologize for any confusion.  
> 2\. Sorry I can't write anything in order to save my life, this is why i do series rather than chaptered fics. This takes place some time after the Crime Boys show up.  
> 3\. I use Other Ben to denote Crime Ben because I didn't know how else to do it, and I enjoy making things extremely difficult for myself.  
> 4\. Thanks to Felineladyy for all the usual cheering/scolding me to go to bed/and the fic title. You should have seen the alternatives. Brilliant.

Other Ben had suggested this. Getting high while the Alexes did their own thing, neither of them were entirely sure what they meant by that, so they left it at ‘Alex stuff’, and moved on. If they got Alex time, then they could have Ben time. And apparently Ben time meant getting high, and actually relaxing for a bit. They had already been halfway through their joint by the time Other Ben brought up shotgunning, and Ben couldn’t deny just how much that interested him.

Other Ben cupped his jaw, fingers wrapping around to the back of his neck, his callouses rough against Ben's cheek, but he didn't mind them. If he was being honest with himself, he was going to miss them when they were gone.

Other Ben took a hit and held it in for a moment, still managing to have that ever permanent smirk, before leaning in for a kiss. Ben found himself responding enthusiastically, but it wasn't fast and needy like some of their other interactions; this was slow, and deep, and Ben had completely forgotten about getting high, not needing it anymore, already feeling dizzy from the intensity of his violent doppelganger, quite literally kissing him breathless.

Ben's own hand came up to rest on Other Ben's upper arm, just wanting to touch, and he twisted, to make it obvious he was open to more, and Ben, without forethought, or really any thoughts at all, climbed into his lap, barely breaking the kiss. When the kiss was eventually broken, both of them were breathing heavily, tangled around one another. They sat there for a moment, just drinking each other in, when Ben reached for Other Ben's arm, and brought it close. It took a moment for Other Ben to figure out what he wanted as he got there, and held the joint to Ben’s lips as he took a deep drag, holding it without breaking eye contact. Ben felt more than heard a low growl in Other Ben's throat, he dropped the joint without a second thought and simultaneously leaned in, and pulled Ben close, to kiss him deeply, much more heatedly than before.

Ben felt like he was floating, but not in the way he got when Alex praised him, and told him he was a Good Boy, this was different, like he was soaring high above everything else, somewhere only this other Ben could take him. Wherever they were going it was high and hot, like they were flying into the sun, but it didn't matter, they couldn't get too close, but because there was nowhere to get too close to. They were the sun, scorching, burning anything they touched, except for each other.

Other Ben pulled him impossibly closer, one hand still at the back of Ben's neck, and the other wrapped around his waist, holding him there, not letting go; like he wanted to keep him as close as possible, keep him from falling, maybe keeping them both from falling. Whichever it was, it was working, Ben felt like he'd never come down, not with Other Ben keeping him there.

Ben slipped his hands between them, running his hands down Other Ben's chest, slipping them under the open vee of his shirt, feeling the heat from his skin, so hot to the touch, every raised and gnarled scar like fire under his hands. Ben swiped his thumb over his nipple causing him to moan into the kiss. and slide his hand down to grasp Ben's ass.

Ben just wanted to feel all of him, all that heated skin under his touch; it felt special, something shared just between them, something only they could know, because who knew them better than themselves?

Ben finished unbuttoning the (few) remaining buttons and slid his hands over as much of Other Ben's skin as he could, but it wasn't enough, he wanted  _ more _ . Ben was addicted, and he couldn't get enough.

As he slipped his hands over Other Ben's pants, palming his straining cock, Other Ben bit into the kiss, a growl rumbling deep in his chest. He started to kiss down Ben's neck; mouthing, biting, licking at whatever exposed skin he could reach.

Ben was panting heavily, eyes fluttering as Other Ben's mouth danced over his skin. He eventually managed to get Other Ben's cock out, and moaned right along with him as he finally took him in hand. His cock was hot and heavy in his hand, familiar and foreign at the same time.

Other Ben's hands hand made their way under Ben's shirt by this point, and his nails scraping down his back made him moan loudly into his ear, rutting against him, desperate for any friction he could get.

They were a feedback loop of sensations: hot, wet, sharp, soft, it was all  _ so much _ , Ben felt himself tipping towards the edge, but not to fall, never to fall, not with himself, not like this. This pure ecstacy of being with oneself in a way no one else could possibly understand.

Other Ben licked a stripe up Ben's neck to nuzzle along his jaw, lips just below his ear, and spoke for the first time in what felt like years,  _ eons _ , a lifetime. He said a single word; a word, a  _ command _ that Ben couldn't resist, couldn't not respond to if his life depended on it. 

"Come." 

And Ben did, his own name tumbling from his lips.

Other Ben followed suit as Ben stroked him off, hot and wet over his hand and stomach. He couldn't even remember when Other Ben lifted his shirt, but it didn't matter, he was marked by himself, in a way that he would cherish forever, even if he could never speak of it again.


End file.
